Come Blog With Me – Day 20.
So I’ve now been blogging for 20 days in a row. Some days I write something amazing and inspired. Some days there’s nothing there apart from a few random sentences. I know it’s the showing up to the page that counts (can’t recall who used that phrase). But it does feel like I’m now battling to find something interesting to write about.
It could be that I’ve done the cheerful topics, the things I’m pondering about that are a bit more accessible to other people, the things that I know I can share without offending anyone, or worrying who will read it.
It may also be that I am feeling a little sorry for myself at the moment. Almost 8 weeks post-operation and I’m not yet back to “normal”. But then I think I have a different definition of “normal activities” to healthcare professionals…..
I didn’t realise quite how active I was until suddenly I wasn’t able to do all the things I take for granted. Like my twice weekly gym sessions, daily 30-45 minute walks, going into town and running errands, hopping on a train to London and then wandering around for the afternoon or evening. I definitely took all that for granted. Right now I’m doing two 10-15 minutes walks round the block every day, and trying to increase the distance as I feel up to it. And I’m not allowed to run. (Which makes me sad. Even though I last went for a run in August.)
Same with driving. I used to think nothing of jumping in the car and driving for an hour to go somewhere, and then walking round wherever I’d gone to before driving home again. Fortunately I am now allowed to drive again – so I’m starting local and building up to the longer journeys. But I’ve realised just how many potholes there are in our roads now I feel them all through the car!
In the grand scheme of it all, things aren’t so bad, I shouldn’t really complain. I feel well and don’t have any pain, I’ve got a short-term freelance project to keep me busy for a few hours a day, I’m enjoying blogging (can’t believe CBWM finishes next week!), I’ve got friends and family and the internet, and Sainsbury’s deliver food so I won’t starve. And I can now get out and about a little bit too, so I’m not restricted to staying in the house all the time. So I’m gradually getting back to “normal”.
All this sitting around is making me think too much though. About my dilemmas on what to do next in my working life. About all the other things I want to be doing right now but can’t. So I will try not to dwell on these too much in the last week of CBWM, and concentrate on finding some things to be grateful for, and noticing the little things that cheer me up each day.